Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Welcome to On Purpose with Paul. I am Paul Peters, your amazing host, entrepreneur, business owner, founder of the nonprofit and best selling author. I'm here today to talk to you about how to find your purpose.
[00:00:29] Speaker B: Foreign.
[00:00:32] Speaker A: I'm Paul Peters and this is my story.
I'm the youngest of six. Life was interesting. My father, who was an alcoholic when I was probably about a year and a half, he had attempted to shoot my mom and actually did put six bullets into her. My mom was on the run because he was trying to attack or abuse her. She was hospitalized for a year. We were then separated for about a year to different family members across the country. My mom eventually moved up north to sav near family. I had no contact with my father and actually discovered he had passed away in 1976. That was the beginning phases that would have such a huge impact on my life as a young adult and some of the decisions that I made because I am one of those individuals that recognize having a strong father figure is vital. My mom was my rock, but she was trying to raise six young kids. Part of it is I had to start working early at 6. It provided a key moment for me as an entrepreneur because I started my own company in 2010. Not having a father was vital. That ended up affecting me in regards to. I drank heavily in my teen years, got to a point where I had not committed but had attempted suicide. At that point, kind of life hit rock bottom for me. And it was a pivotal point in my life to get me on the road back, which was a long road back. I recognized that certain people were brought in my life, mentors that were instrumental in helping me gain the very things that my father was supposed to give me. And when I recognized that I no longer play that victim, I had to forgive my father, even though he was gone. A very important part for me was, you know, spiritually in regards to my relationship with God. I got involved in the church and became a chaplain at a jail in New York and then from there moved down to North Carolina, attended seminary. I was going to be doing some mission work. I got involved in working with folks with disabilities. That ended up being my life purpose. It's interesting because I've been doing that for 30 years now. My bigger and deeper calling was to help people find their purpose. That led me to pursue writing. I wrote my first book in 2021 which was Discovering embracing your life purpose. I then followed up with the second book in 2022 called the Ways of Wisdom. And then the third book was Success Redefined with Jack Canfield. And I'm due to have my fourth book finished this year with some of the choices that I had made before I had attempted suicide. I had lost my job. I was homeless in Chicago during the winter, not a great place to be. And had a kind of a weird situation happen where it wasn't necessarily an audible voice, but something, you know, I believe it was God said, don't do it. I have some, something special for you to accomplish. I reached out to my brother, really had to humble myself, and I was broken. He took me in, he helped me kind of get my life back in order, started to work. It was a long trek back to recovery, but ultimately it was something that I had to go through. It was very painful, but I had to be broken before I could be rebuilt. Failure are opportunities. We fail because we don't have the knowledge, the awareness to make the best choice. But if we have an understanding that we failed for a reason, and if we understand why we failed, we can make a course correction and get back on path. I had great opportunities with family members, friends, mentors who helped me stay the course, helped to encourage me. One of the great lessons is you're not in it alone. And you've got to be humble to recognize, to ask for help when you need it. And I have such a deep love for myself because for me, what God has revealed and how precious I am. And so I recognize that if I have that love for God and love for myself, then I can effectively love other people.
[00:04:16] Speaker B: And that's what my life is all about.
[00:04:17] Speaker A: Loving other people and serving them and helping encourage them that they can do great and wonderful things. When we deal with unforgiveness, we are trapped and tied to a past experience, a past event.
Dreams are always future oriented. And so if we are stuck in the past, we cannot ever fulfill our dreams. So we've got to cut the ties. And that's where forgiveness comes in. So that we can live in the moment and dream and then walk, what I call walk in faith and encourage to accomplish those dreams. Because I tell people, your dreams are not given to you just for you.
They are given to all that will be impacted. You think about Henry Ford, you think about Edison, you think about Einstein. The gifts that they were given have blessed us all. And if we don't let go of the past and live in the present moment and just live in a state of, I can accomplish all things, great things. And when we're tied to the past through unforgiveness or anger and all those Things we can't move forward to the future. And so those dreams will just be dreams. They will never be achieved. It's funny, people ask me, how do I accomplish all the things that I do? And a lot of that's coming from mentoring, you know, strategic coach. That's one of the mentor groups that I'm involved in. I have a lot of dreams. I have a lot of passions. I have a limited life just like the rest of us. And I want to leave a legacy. I try to keep my focus one on my kids. That is my number one priority, my relationship with God and leaving an impact. I tell people my goal every day is to leave somebody better than I found them. And so I have the opportunity through my company, to be a blessing not only to the staff, but the folks with disabilities. I get a blessing every day with my nonprofit, where I get to serve people who are homeless, veterans, people struggling with addiction, to make an impact and bringing a collaborative effort of reconciliation and healing in the community. And through the power of my books and my public speaking, I get to share the hope, the story, my story, because my story could be your story. When I give somebody the opportunity to recognize that there is hope, you don't have to remain in the past. You can let go of those things. Then I hopefully left them better than I found them. If I give one person an opportunity to live a dream, they could impact their world and change their life. And it's because I took that chance and I just shared my dream with them.
My son that I adopted at 11, he would have severe behaviors and he would attack me. But once it was done, it was done. He. He was very loving. And so it helped me recognize don't harbor when somebody attacks you. A lot of times, for whatever reason, they're going through something. And it helped me really magnify that forgiveness. God creates each of us unique. If we focus more on appreciating people's differences than criticizing them, we would be in a much better world. And I've just kind of taken that approach. And that's been the greatest lesson they've taught me. Patience. They've taught what real love is all about and what real forgiveness is also. Recognizing in their limitations are their assets. They have so much to give us that we who are quote, unquote, non disabled really need to open up our eyes and our ears to learn.
[00:07:24] Speaker C: Well, there are so many pivotal parts of your story that I want to go back again and talk about, one that we haven't had a chance to talk about yet. And it was. Is it correct? Did I read somewhere that you were a chaplain?
[00:07:36] Speaker B: Yes. I had actually moved to New York and I. This was not much long after some of my challenges because after I had made the attempt of suicide and I moved in with my brother, I lived with him probably for a year or two and was still struggling and also joined the military. I didn't want to make sure I include that, so I joined the Army.
[00:07:59] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:08:00] Speaker B: And so had some struggles, but I knew that the military needed to provide that discipline for me, you know, because I had made some bad choices, did not have a good father figure, and I needed that, and it was very instrumental for me. I ended up being in the military for eight years, ended up getting out as a first lieutenant, and so I went as a chemical officer. And I was a very driven person. One of the things that I really still are, yeah, I was driven to be like the best fit. I remember working out three times a day, and my drill sergeants, they loved me, but they didn't love me because they'd say, Paul Peters, you know, I would do. Do 50 push ups. I do 100, you know, so I wanted to be. I wanted to be the best, you know, that people pleaser was in me. And I was just trying, striving to be accepted and acknowledged. And so when I had gone through the military and I actually was moved to New York, because I'm like, I just don't. I'm looking for my purpose. And so my brother, who was a minister, lived in New York, and so he took me in. And at that time is when I entered the field of working with folks with intellectual disability.
Because I had studied psychology, I worked in group homes with folks with mental health issues. I'd worked in a day program. So I kind of had an idea what I wanted to do and I.
[00:09:12] Speaker C: Did you desire that or was it like, oh, here's a job? And I want to both.
[00:09:16] Speaker B: Both. To be honest with you, there was a. There was a genuine sensitivity, tenderness, because I just really could somewhat relate to what the struggles were because many of the people that I was working with, and this was during, when I was in college, I went to the University of Illinois. And so. And let me tell you a little quick story, because I did share this in my books. And so one of the things that happened, because I was so driven and I was working all the time, and I was literally getting about three to four hours sleep, I had this, what I would call this Superman mentality. And it's not because people said you look like Clark Kent. And then of course I'd say, you mean Superman. So no Clark Kent. You wear glasses?
Yeah, when I wear glasses.
And so. And I was so driven. I actually had a nervous breakdown in college and I took a year off and ended up working.
[00:10:04] Speaker C: Because you weren't sleeping?
[00:10:05] Speaker B: Because I wasn't sleeping. I felt like I could do anything.
And you know, and some of that while I was still doing, still drinking and I just was not taking good care of myself. And like I said, I was working in a mental health facility. I was working at Burger King restaurant I was just working in and carrying a full caseload. And so my grades began to suffer. I got kicked out of school for a while, and then I ended up working for a year with my other brother. Remember I have a total of four brothers. He was in construction. And I did that, I did that, did that for a year. I then got re. Enrolled back in college. And so, and then after college I went ahead and moved in with my brother in New York. And so I taken the experience that I had working in the mental health and I was able to get a job working in a group home with what they call icf, which is the very low functioning folks. And that's really what started my career working in the field that I'm currently working in. And when I was there, because my brother was a major influence, he was kind of like my other mentor I had, the one that I moved in after the suicide attempt.
The other one in New York was a minister. He was also former Navy, so he had retired. And so. But he was very, very strict, came from a very religious family, of course, being a minister. So I had to, you know, comply, you know, with what all the things that he did living in his home. And so. But I ended up getting a job working in a group home. And then I had the opportunity, through a relationship that he had, working with a man who was running a jail ministry.
And it was Schenectady, which is part of the upstate New York. And so I started doing some volunteering. I took some classes, was teaching some courses in addiction.
So I'm sharing this because a lot of things that happened early on in my life were the seeds being planted of what I would be doing in my nonprofit.
And so I began to minister to the inmates, both male and female. And many of these inmates were in there for issues where stealing drugs, some of them had committed murder. And so typically in the jail system, they always, typically will get filtered through the county jail system. And I was a County jail chaplain. And so I had to. I had many experiences of working with individuals in support groups, addiction groups.
I did in a group on sexual addiction, I did a group on other types of addictions. And then of course, I would then be a liaison to the community because there was such a high rate of recidivism, which meant they would go back in once they got out because they, a lot of them had developed habitual patterns of behavior where once they got out, they would naturally be drawn to the crowd. And that's why I said before, it's very important who you hang with and it's going to determine what you end up doing in life. And so I was instrumental in trying to help navigate and get them acclimated into society, which is challenging because unfortunately, people who have a record are not always accepted in society.
[00:13:04] Speaker C: Have you ever thought about being a minister?
[00:13:06] Speaker B: Yes. I actually became a licensed chaplain, which actually led me to make the decision to move down to North Carolina to attend seminary. So it was my experience as a chaplain because I would often be talking with the inmates and I would be talking with folks that were of the Christian faith. I would be talking people who over the Buddhist faith. I would be talking people who were Muslims. And all the questions from a believer believing in the Bible, it presented so many questions. I thought I need to be more educated.
So I decided to come down. I actually was listening to one of my individuals that I really looked up to, who was a.
A minister. And he was also very knowledgeable. And it was under this field of apologetics, which is a combination of philosophy and psychology and religion. And so it was being able to hear other people's belief systems and begin to work with them on the differences between the Christian faith and some of the other faiths. So you have a common ground. And so I ended up moving down. And actually, it's interesting. I had met a young lady and she was a minister's daughter.
And we had this beautiful wedding. We ended up moving down to North Carolina and I was attending seminary.
It was a what I call a short lived relationship.
[00:14:27] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:14:27] Speaker B: Because literally within a year she ended up leaving me for another man. So I was fairly, fairly devastated in regards to that situation.
And I just recognized it was a lot of the stuff that had not been healed in relationship because I falsely thought, now that I'm serving God, then everything's great.
And God says, it's great that you're serving me, but you still have not dealt with some of these underlying issues. And so it was another back to back to school in regards to you want a relationship, so I'm going to have to teach you how to have a great relationship. So I went several years without being involved in a relationship. And I then while I was down in seminary, ended up dropping out because of the issue with the school and being divorced. And then I was still involved with the church and I was still trying to figure out what you want me to do do. So I went on a couple mission trips. I went trip to Guatemala, I went on a trip to Brazil and I worked with an orphanage. And so it was.
And the kids in Brazil were absolutely beautiful. Not beautiful in appearance, but in their beautiful. They didn't have anything. And they were so happy. And I thought why are we so unhappy in the States? And we had everything.
And it really. I felt the call and say I need to be doing more of this kind of work. And which is why I'm doing that today in Central America, which is very interesting.
But I met this young lady on the mission trip and she had me go to church and we ended up falling in love. We ended up getting married. We have two beautiful children that I'm extremely proud of. And in the course of the marriage, we were married for about eight years. Unfortunately, still some things that had not been worked out that I thought worked out, unfortunately ended up getting divorced.
It was a very, very tragic divorce that was very combative.
Situations occurred where I was removed from the home and had to really fight for my two kids that were like five and six.
And for me having that happen was. Was a crucible for me because it brought me back to. I wanted to be a dad. That was the one thing I wanted in life, to be the best dad, knowing that I did not have a good dad. So in order to be that good dad, I had to have a relationship with my kids. And that relationship opportunity was taken away because of the child. Child custody and the battle going through that. And I had to, as some would say I had to put it. I had to pull up my big panties and I had to be the man that I needed to be to fight for my kids because they were so young and it was a three year.
I mean, to say battle is an understatement. It was a struggle because unfortunately, because of certain things that happened in the marriage, she was very angry with me and we were not able to come to some kind of reconciliation. And so I had to fight for my kids and I chose to the fair way, the loving way, and just focus my myself and my love on my kids. And to this day, I have a great relationship with my two kids.
[00:17:26] Speaker C: What's your greatest accomplishment?
[00:17:27] Speaker B: It's being a father. Accomplish Being a best selling author, owning a company, being, you know, all the things that I, that I have, that I would consider my trophies. Nothing compares to being a father. Nothing compares to being a good father.
[00:17:40] Speaker C: Yeah. And for you, you know, I think it's important that this is individualized for people. But for you, if you were to have a, like a little scorecard for your. If you were to say, I'm a great father, what are the things that you, you know, how would you score that? What are the. Are you looking for certain qualities in your children? Are there certain things that you do with your children?
[00:17:59] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, I think for me, and I didn't share this when I was going through the divorce and I was all alone, I was able to finally get back into my home and I didn't get to see my kids because I didn't have the opportunity. I was.
[00:18:14] Speaker C: How long did you go without seeing your kids?
[00:18:16] Speaker B: Well, initially, when, when everything kind of the ground zero.
I was not able to see them for like several months. And then we had to go through. And the court system does not move fast. We temporary.
[00:18:28] Speaker C: And they don't favor fathers either?
[00:18:30] Speaker B: No, they do not favor fathers. And so we had the temporary hearing. Ultimately, the whole divorce suddenly got settled after three years. And so I had to fight. Initially, all custody was taken away from me, and then I was able to get a partial custody. And ultimately when we had the permanent hearing, it was a, it was a joint custody, but because she lived out of state, it was, it was a little different.
So an opportunity came to me because I worked in the field with folks with disability is. I got to be involved with a young man's life. And this young man was being raised by his great grandmother. He was severely autistic, had severe behaviors, had been in and out of different homes, and I just felt called to bring him into my life. And ultimately he became my son. I took him in at 11, and he's now 28 years old.
[00:19:14] Speaker C: And so this happened during the time where you lost custody of your children?
[00:19:18] Speaker B: Yeah, it happened. And so he needed me as much as I needed him, and so it was truly a blessing. Now one of the caregivers takes care of him for me because I'm doing all these wonderful things, but he helped me through a very challenging time and he taught me how to love because he would often get aggressive and he would strike at me for no reason.
And I had to really learn how to forgive because often when we're attacked, especially physically, we defend ourselves, we get angry. And I couldn't do that.
So that opportunity. And so when I was able to get my kids back, they integrated into a life with him. And it was interesting because he didn't like to wear clothes.
So, you know, a lot of. A lot of wonderful lessons. But it helped me to be anatomy. Yeah. It helped me to recognize when I'm out in public with him. I mean, there was no masks for me. I was just, this is Jordan. This is who he is. You know, he's not going to be anybody else but who he wants to be, and you've got to be okay with that. And it helped me recognize that, you know, we're created uniquely and we just have to be ourselves. And so it was an amazing experience to be able to help him grow up, be the best that he could be, allow my children to see what dad is doing sacrificially.
Also never giving up. I was committed to being with my kids as much as I could. So I would go have lunch with them twice a week, no matter where they were. They had moved sometime during 7 and 10. They had moved out of state. So I would travel to go spend lunch with them. And I did that probably up and through eighth grade, maybe ninth grade. And then the kids, like Dan. Okay, enough, enough. You know, our kids are. Our friends are saying, why's your dad coming at lunch? And so. But I just wanted my kids to know how much I wanted to be with them and love them.
[00:21:04] Speaker C: Yeah. And I'm. I'm sure there's no doubt in their mind.
[00:21:07] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:21:08] Speaker C: How much you love them. You do so much for your kids, and I know you talk to them all the time.
[00:21:11] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:21:12] Speaker C: What. What else. What other lessons has Jordan, or just being around that population that you now serve on a grand level. Any other lessons that they'. Tattoo.
[00:21:21] Speaker B: Yeah.
They have such a joy for life. They don't allow or in the impact of somebody not liking them per se.
You know, they just, like, they're just happy, you know, and the opportunity to be able to live and raise Jordan. And then more recently, the opportunity to take on another young man that entered my life from Costa Rica.
And so God has given me the ability, because he knows my heart's desire to be the father of the fatherless.
[00:21:52] Speaker C: Yes, yes. Yes. You know, I would. You. Would you think it's fair to say that they don't tell, you know, folks that have intellectual disabilities don't Tell themselves stories like the rest of us do.
Right. They don't assign meaning as much meaning to things and tell these stories. Would that. Was that a fair statement? You think that that's why they're more joyful?
[00:22:12] Speaker B: I think the answer is they live in the present. They live in the now, and they're present with you, and they appreciate every moment they get to be. And so you take an experience like I think I shared with you before, one of the greatest opportunities I get is I get to be a facilitator of helping people achieve their dreams. And we have a young man that quadruple easy, and we partner with an organization that will take folks with disability skiing.
And I got to be involved in seeing this young man do something he never, ever thought he could do.
And to take a moment and just take in the joy he felt of being able to do these things and how that impacted his family and all around him, it was just. It was one of those moments I'll never forget.
I mean, that's the opportunity I get every day. Some of these folks who we take for granted, our ability to use the bathroom and walk and eat, and some of these people can do some of the things that we take for granted, Being able to get up and use the bathroom or walk or even say two words, and it's like, we've got to. And I think that's what I love so much. They appreciate all the wonderful things they get to do, and they appreciate the help and the love of us as their caregivers being able to run it for them.
[00:23:30] Speaker C: Yeah. Yes. Yes.
It's an undeniable feeling. I remember when you had a kickball game, and I said, I'm coming. I'm coming to this. I love to be around this energy. I know you're sensitive to energy the same way I am, but the joy and the happiness, and they are very true spirits. Very, very true, honest spirits. And I just really enjoy how much they appreciate life. Would you say the divorce was the hardest time of your life? Second hardest time of your life.
[00:23:57] Speaker B: The second hardest time. And it's interesting because sometimes, like, okay, I got it. I've learned my lesson. And I look back on it, and I think to myself, from a spiritual perspective, it's like, no. There was a valuable lesson I needed to learn in that. And I think not having a dad, I poured so much into my kids.
What I ended up missing is being the man for my wife, and I will take ownership of that. And so I had to fight for my kids because I had already lost the ability to have my wife.
And it really helped me realize that even though being the dad is the most important thing in my life, I still desire that love and connection. So it really made me take a deeper look. What did I not do in the relationship? Because I think if people are happy in their relationship, they wouldn't leave. You know, there may be variables in regards to some unresolved issues, but it really helped me to take a checkup and say, okay, you know, you had the first marriage, didn't last. Here's the second one. Now that's not working.
It's all about learning from the mistakes that we make and not make them again. And recognize that we have the honor and the ability when we're in a relationship to love that person the way that they need to be loved, not the way we think we need to be loved. Too often we say, oh, I'll love you the way I want to be loved. Well, that's not how everyone needs to be loved. So I learned a valuable lesson. For me, the part is like, I had to get my kids back, and I had to make sure, because they are part of my legacy, that they know to this day that dad's there, you call me, I'm there. And I also try to do that in any relationship I'm in. I try to always give my my best to whoever and when I say in relationship, because I just. I love everybody, but not everybody. I'm going to be in a relationship, but I want to make sure the person I'm in a relationship knows that I care about them and I'm there. I'm committed to them.
[00:25:43] Speaker C: Yeah.
So through this tumultuous time, lost your children, fighting for years to get them back, you decided to give birth to something new and you started a company.
[00:25:55] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:25:55] Speaker C: During that time.
[00:25:56] Speaker B: It's interesting, I think about. I was actually thinking about this yesterday, and it's actually from the movie, not Lord of the Rings, it's the movie with Harry Potter.
And it's the. It's the bird that dies and then comes to life. And I think it's through the death of something that we have the opportunity to rebirth, have a rebirth. And I think when I lost, you know, the marriage and I had to fight for my kids, and I had to be the man that I needed to be that I knew was in there, but he's still struggling with some insecurity and fears.
And I just recognized that I may have lost my marriage, but I've not lost hope. And it Was a reminder that things are going to, you know, we're going to make mistakes or life's going to hit us hard, but we get back up and we don't give up. And I just recognize that it's in that fortitude and that drive to be better. And my leverage for me is like, I want to leave a good legacy for my kids. I want them to know that Dad's going to be there, that dad is always learning. Dad makes mistakes. Dad's going to be the first to say, I made a mistake. Will you forgive me? And so it's really been my driving force to always be a good role model for my kids.
[00:27:07] Speaker C: It seems to me like you forgive yourself pretty quickly where, you know, in a world where a lot of people are stuck, oftentimes I see that people are stuck because they're stuck on something they did in the past, and they just can't forgive themselves. Helps. But it. Is it correct in saying that you forgive yourself very quickly?
[00:27:25] Speaker B: Correct. And I'll tell you why. So for me, it's like when something happens in the past, we too often hold on to it. Well, it's done, it's gone. You can't go back and relive the past. And so you waste time, energy, all of that. When you try to relive something that's already happened, you own up to it, you take responsibility, you seek forgiveness or whoever you may have heard or whatever, and you move on, you grow from it. Because we don't forgive and we hold onto that. We tend to relive it, and we tend to redo it. And that's why people make a lot of the same mistakes over and over.
[00:28:01] Speaker C: Because they're thinking about it and they're fixated on it. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I would say that that's. If there's one thing that I would hope. And this just came to me through this conversation, that I think you could impact so many people is just helping them forgive themselves quickly.
[00:28:14] Speaker B: Correct.
[00:28:15] Speaker C: You know, from what they just did five minutes ago, too. Like, it's over.
[00:28:17] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:28:18] Speaker C: If you need to say sorry, say you're sorry, what can you do different moving forward and then just start walking in that direction.
[00:28:23] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. And I think also when we do something that, you know, directly or inadvertently offends somebody, take ownership, seek forgiveness, what ends up happening if the other person does not forgive you? You don't have to hold on to that. You've done what you needed to do, and it's not like you're being insensitive. But the ownership is on the other person. You do what you can to try to amend that. That relationship. But too often we wait for that other person to forgive us, and then we're held into the past rather than just being released. And as I said before, forgiveness is not about the other person. It's about you being released so that you can move forward. Because time is a.
We have our past, present, and future. The only one thing that we can control is the present.
But if we live in the past because of past memories, our past becomes our present, becomes our future. And we want to make sure our future is filled with joy, love, and hope and all those wonderful things. And it can't happen if we're holding on to past.
[00:29:23] Speaker C: Yeah. Focus goes, energy flows. And like you said, you're just going to continue to bring all that back.
[00:29:27] Speaker B: Correct.
[00:29:28] Speaker C: In your life over and over again. So during this time, you decided to start Covenant Case Management Services?
[00:29:33] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:29:34] Speaker C: Yeah. Why?
[00:29:35] Speaker B: Well, I had worked for other agencies, and I just saw what the parents were wanting and what they needed. Also I looked.
[00:29:41] Speaker C: Which was.
[00:29:42] Speaker B: I'm sorry. Which was they wanted the. The things that they wanted. For example, they wanted a home modification. They didn't want them wait two years because their child needed to be able to have ability to use the shower and do those things. And so I recognize when I work for somebody, I can only control certain things. But when I own the company, I had the ability to begin to expedite, use my own creativity. And so I created a vision of what Covenant was going to be and look like in the future. And that was going to be where we were going to have therapists, physical therapists, occupational therapists, speech therapists, psychologists, attorneys, because those are the very advocates, the clinicians, the people that this family would need, because they need a team.
Because when you have somebody with a disability, it could be multifaceted in regards to need. You may have somebody who needs a wheelchair van, they need a ramp, they need a modification in the shower. They need somebody to monitor a behavior, plan to minimize the behavior so they can be successful in the community. And so I began to create that vision. And so.
And I could only do that as the owner of the company, because I was able to make those decisions and get people on my team. And here we are. We have a company that is multifaceted in how we serve and help other people. So when somebody has a need for home modification, we have a therapist that can come in, we have contractors that come. And so we can expedite that process. So it's really meeting that family's need and saying when they ask us something, we can say, yes, we can do that, rather than say, yeah, but it's going to take two years. Well, that's not acceptable. When you have a child, they can't get in their tub to be showered or bathed. And so those are real issues that families have.
[00:31:11] Speaker C: Yeah. So is that what sparked starting Covenant, seeing that there was a problem that you could solve?
[00:31:16] Speaker B: Correct. Because I knew if I owned the company, I can make the decisions that will help expedite and get the answers from my families. When I work for somebody else because of the bureaucracy, I can only do so much until they said, no, you can't do that. So what do you mean, I can't do that? I can't tell that to my family. Yeah, yeah.
[00:31:34] Speaker C: There's got to be a way. There's got to be a way. Did you ever dream that it was going to get this big?
You're going to serve this many families?
[00:31:41] Speaker B: Not initially, to be honest with you, but I tell people, because it was my baby, as a. As a parent, the hardest thing for me, which is why I had growth, but it kind of maxed out because I could only do some. I can only take care of so many children. And I had to. I had to begin to trust.
And I use the example, I had to trust the babysitters, and I had to make sure the babysitters had the compassion, the tenderness, the love that I did. And when I began to do that, and it's been a work in progress trying to find and hire the right people, the company began to grow. And part of what I said earlier is, like, there's an element of surrendering and letting go because Paul wanted to hold on, because Paul didn't want any of his children to suffer. But when I began to bring on people who also had similar compassion, tenderness and love from the folks that we support, I began to see the ability to serve more people happen. And so we went from one in 2010 to close to 800 families now. And my staff went from just me. I jokingly tell people I was employee of the year for six years straight.
[00:32:42] Speaker C: In every department, whatever, had.
[00:32:45] Speaker B: So. And now I have. He's close to 300, 300 staff. And so I'm just. Yeah.
[00:32:51] Speaker C: Wow. 800 families you serve.
[00:32:53] Speaker B: Yeah. Wow. Yes.
[00:32:55] Speaker C: Wow. That is. That is amazing. Yes, amazing. And you didn't stop there, though. You didn't stop there. So what inspired you to start the Nehemiah Project?
[00:33:04] Speaker B: So it's interesting Because I just felt called to do a nonprofit. I wanted to extend my ability to serve folks. And I was going through the Book of Nehemiah. And Book of Nehemiah is basically about the. The city of Jerusalem. And so it was a time when the city was in ruins. They had been.
A lot of citizens had been captured by the king at that time, King Nebuchadnezzar. And Nehemiah was one of the slaves. He was captured and he was put in position as a cup bearer for the king. I believe it was Artaxerxes at that time. And he did not know what the condition of the city was. Somebody told him. And he was grieved because this was his home. And so he had the opportunity to. The king actually saw his countenance, which is emotions. And he was concerned. And he asked Nehemiah what's going on? Ima shared, God put on Nebuchadnezzar's heart, I mean, Artisuchi's heart, to allow him to go and rebuild this community.
And so he had the element of really relating to the community.
And he was broken hearted as to what had happened to the community.
And he had that leverage, that drive to bring the community together, because this was just fellow citizen.
And so he went back. He was a great leader anyway, because he was trained to be that way. And he brought the community together. And it's interesting, shoulder by shoulder, each family rebuilt the Wall of Jerusalem, which was the significance of the symbol of the power. And what ended up happening is there was a sense of unity within that community. And so the needs in the community were restored. And so that was. That was the vision God gave me. And then as he. And then there were six towers that made up the wall, because there were towers. And then you had the walls, walls between the towers. And God gave to me. The towers that I want you to build Nehemiah on were really the towers that made up my life. Working with folks with intellectual disabilities, mental health, homelessness, because I had been involved in that. Senior citizens, I spent a lot of my childhood young adult, working with seniors. I cleaned their houses, did various things like that.
Working with veterans, as a veteran, working with folks with addiction, with my own addiction with alcohol. And then because my mom was a domestic violent victim. There's a correlation there. And then, of course, working with mental health and intellectual disability. So that was my inspiration. I wanted to create the ability to meet those needs within each community, because those are the underserved issues in communities. And so if I could work together to bring a Collaborative effort between businesses, churches, organizations that would come together shoulder by shoulder to rebuild the community. We would see restoration with all communities. And so that's my, that's my vision. It started in North Carolina and I believe the vision is going to be global. And we're working in Central America right now, working with the underprivileged kids.
[00:35:46] Speaker C: I believe that a lot of us are here to provide hope, to provide hope in a vision. And if you can't see beyond your four walls, how do you have any idea what is even out there? Right. And you think that there's a lack of technology or a lack of being around people.
My mission, a big piece of my mission is to get, get information to people that are looking for it so that they can take the next step. Right. So the way that, you know, we do a lot of personal development because we're, we hear stories and we see people that have the lives. And I love when you and I first met, you were integrating a couple of different socioeconomic demographics of after school children programs. And, and that's when I was like, I just opened my ear to you even more because you'd said, like, well, how are my kids ever going to see what's possible if they don't get to be around those kids? And I thought, oh my gosh, that, that is so brilliant. And I love that you're, you're taking this thing worldwide and global because you, you know, you can't. But once you see, you can't unsee too.
[00:36:43] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:36:43] Speaker C: Right. So if they can catch a vision for themselves, then they'll take that next step.
[00:36:48] Speaker B: Yeah. And you never know the impact you're going to make in a child and what that child's life is going to be like.
[00:36:54] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:36:54] Speaker B: And so I thought about comparatively, the childhood that I grew up in. And many of these kids are in worse situations where their, their parents are either deceased because they, you know, they commit suicide. And I have one individual that I work with that's mental health, intellectual disability. Both his parents committed suicide. I ended up bringing him into my home and taking care of him. He actually called me, he called me his father because he doesn't have a father figure. And so. But when you think about some of the struggles that these young kids go through and if you get involved in their life, make an impact, you can change the trajectory. There's such a strong likelihood that kids whose parents are struggling with addiction or incarcerated are going to follow that same path. And had mentors not entered my life at times that I needed Them I would not be where I'm at. I would not be on the stage.
[00:37:44] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:37:44] Speaker B: I would either be dead or in jail.
[00:37:46] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:37:46] Speaker B: So.
[00:37:47] Speaker C: Yes. Yes, yes. Yeah. Yeah. I love that work.
So you've had one heck of a journey and I think you're just getting started. There's so much there. Having this conversation with you. I'm thinking like, why is this man not a minister? There needs to be that piece of it. Because you have studied scripture so well, and the way that you find opportunities to weave in those stories, I mean, it really just lands and you don't forget it. So I don't know if anybody's given you that compliment before, but I would like to give you that compliment that, that you've really put in the work and, and your timing is always perfect and how, you know, how you tie all that in. But what is next for you?
[00:38:27] Speaker B: Wow. It's interesting because I used to think, you know, because it's like, if I make it to 70, I'm good. I've lived a well lived life and I'm like, 70, I want to live to 100.
[00:38:39] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:38:39] Speaker B: Because it's like it took me so long to figure out a lot of the things that I know now. And I jokingly tell people, as you get older, you realize less, you know.
And also I recognize because the body is going through that natural decay and I only have a certain many of years left, but I want to live them with a blaze of glory. I want to live them as impacting as many people as I can. And so I feel like I'm on the accelerated plan. I feel like, you know, if anyone's familiar with the story of Moses, Moses at 40, thought he was going to be the leader of the Israelite nation.
And he was removed. He was kicked. He was actually kind of the son of Pharaoh and he ended up killing somebody and he was kicked out. I thought, oh my gosh, it's not the plan to have. Then he wandered the desert for 40 years. He went through training to be the leader that he was supposed to be. And at 80, he came back and led the Israelites out of Egypt into the promised land. So when you think about it, it's like, you know, we have to go through that time, that time of training. And I feel like God has continued to take me through that training. But I finally got my full attention. And so now I can really do something good with you. And so for me, it's like, not only Covenant, which is one of my legacies, Nehemiah, which is another one of my legacies. It's the writing, it's the speaking, it's the teaching.
Because I think we have so many valuable lessons to learn from each other. And I just want to be. I want to be lead that legacy and want to make sure when, as one who believes that when I face God, my maker, he's going to say, well done. You've done great. You did exactly what I've called you to do. And there's no greater, especially from one who didn't have a father. Have his father said, you did good, man, that Homer. Nobody would have done it like you did. I think that's. I mean, I glow with a sense of pride knowing that I please my father. And what pleases him is when you're using your gifts to serve other people. And so what's next is continue to do what I'm doing and do it with zeal, passion, excitement.
[00:40:35] Speaker C: Yeah. So let's talk about purpose here again for a minute because, you know, you've identified a piece of the puzzle that can really provide so much life and joy and peace and happiness for people. And that. That is your mission. That is your purpose, to help other people tap into their purpose so they can feel more love, more joy, more happiness.
And from that place, it's. It's just amazing what happens in the mind and body if that's the vibration and the space that you're living in. But not many people are there. So can you give us. You know, I don't want you to give us the whole formula, but can you give us, you know, like, is what. What is one thing for people that are watching this episode right now, and they're like, gosh, I really. I'm going to this job every day, and I'm not. I'm just. I feel stuck, and I'm not quite sure what my purpose is.
What would be one piece of advice that you could give that person?
[00:41:29] Speaker B: Well, definitely follow your passion.
I think in a lot of ways, we know what excites us.
And I think also when you can get somebody that you trust and you can have an honest conversation with them.
[00:41:40] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:41:41] Speaker B: And you just ask him, what is it you see that I'm good at? Because often, and I jokingly tell people, God gave us two eyes facing forward, nothing in the back. He gave us two ears to hear.
And if we have somebody in our life that could kind of let us see the whole thing. 360, you know, view and begin to be honest with us and say, you know, this is something That I see is very unique about you, and I think you should really head in that direction. And I think a lot of times that person could. Because we all have blind spots.
[00:42:15] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:42:15] Speaker B: You know, and I think that person either be a mentor or somebody you just highly respect. It's sit down with them and then also interview them. Because I think if you're searching for your purpose and you kind of have an inkling, because I want. I'm one of those individuals that believe a little seed is planted and it's. It's enough for us to be encouraged to begin to pursue that. And if we get to begin to interview, which is the purpose of my show, is I want people to tell their story so that you can have an example of how they found it. Not everybody's going to find it the same same way, But I think it's in the searching, you're going to find some of the answers, and it's going to encourage you to take them next step. And I think just don't give up. Follow what you believe inside, because the answers all dwell within us. And I think we just doubt ourselves too much. Begin to believe in yourself. Have that confidence to begin to walk in the direction. Because I think so often we want the answers ahead of time.
[00:43:08] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:43:09] Speaker B: We want to know the money's already there.
[00:43:10] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:43:11] Speaker B: Well, guess what? The money's going to come when you take the steps forward and you're going to find people are going to come in your path. You're going to be offered certain opportunities. Like in my case, I was. Opportunity to have my own show. That was not something I set a goal for. I said I set a goal. I want to be in a movie. But in order to be in a movie, this is like the first step, and it puts me in. I would have never thought to be in this studio had it not been for you. So we take those steps, we follow the vision, and then things show up and say, hey, I'm here as a messenger to give you the next message. Yeah, yeah.
[00:43:42] Speaker C: If I hear. If I'm hearing you right, you know, just take the first step and step out on the path.
[00:43:48] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:43:48] Speaker C: And. And be flexible. You know, have. Have your end goal in mind of. Of what you want to do and what you. What you want to be feeling. But be flexible on how you get there.
Yeah, Yeah, I love that. So talk a little bit about passion. What are some of your passions?
[00:44:02] Speaker B: So for me, it really stems to my need for love and connection. So it's really about being around other people that Are like minded.
[00:44:10] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:44:10] Speaker B: It's all also about growth. I'm always, especially as I've gotten older, I mean, I literally care about five books with me everywhere I go.
So I'm always learning, growing because. But I'm not learning growing for me, I'm learning growing some other people. I think my biggest challenge is not everybody's ready to receive the, the food that you're going to give them. But I always want to be prepared because it may be that time where somebody reaches out to me and said, paul, I'm struggling with this. And the same thing with me because we're all give and take to one another. And so I'm always wanting to grow. I'm always wanting to help other people.
Services. That drives me. Love. It drives me. I think a lot of times a lot of the world's problems can be, can be dealt with if we would simply not be so sensitive, not be so easily to be offended, be more forgiving of one another, more understanding. Like for me, for me, it's a great point. Yeah. For me to get to a point where I hated my dad for a long time, but I had to forgive him, recognize some of the struggles he went. It gave me a more of an understanding, compassion.
[00:45:07] Speaker C: Yeah. So, yeah, yeah, yeah, that is, that is really good. What, what are you reading right now?
[00:45:13] Speaker B: Oh, gosh.
I'm reading a book called Mastering Wisdom. And so my second book, Ways of Wisdom, it's really all about being teachable and learning from those who've walked ahead of you. And so trying to be prepared for the journey ahead. We don't always know what the future holds, but if we have learned the lessons from the past, we're better fit to be prepared for that put before us.
[00:45:38] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's interesting. I've always, I've always had friends that were at least a decade over older than me, always. And I appreciated their perspective on life and I also appreciated seeing what's coming next for me. What am I thinking now that I wish that I was thinking now? Right. What should I be thinking right now in 10 years? What would I wish that I was focused on right now? So I think wisdom is one of my favorite words. Are we going to see your wisdom come out in all avenues? Are we going to see it on social media? We're going to see more books, we're going to see more stages.
[00:46:09] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:46:10] Speaker C: Well, how are we going to see all this amazing wisdom come out to, to other people?
[00:46:15] Speaker B: Well, it's going to come out with the opportunity to Continue to write. And so I've got my fourth book I'm working on in addition to a rewrite of my first book. And then I've been asked to co author another book. So I've got three books that I'm working on that will be done this year. So it's going to be through the books. But the books are only the opportunity to then speak.
I've got my first opportunity to keynote in September. And so I just want to continue to be able to have the opportunity to share my message and really encourage everyone else. Everyone has a message?
[00:46:42] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:46:42] Speaker B: Yeah. And you need to be obedient and to walk into what that's going to look like. It may be song, it may be writing, it may be speaking, it may be teaching. I just encourage people, you have a message and you have a certain time limit to give that message, and God has gifted you the one person to give that message. Message, whatever it is.
[00:46:59] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:47:00] Speaker B: And so it's just about giving the opportunity to have my message and.
[00:47:03] Speaker C: And to find their purpose. What is the book that you wrote for them to read to help find their purpose?
[00:47:09] Speaker B: It's called Discovering Embracing youg Life Purpose.
[00:47:12] Speaker C: Okay. And where can they find it?
[00:47:13] Speaker B: You can find that on Amazon.
[00:47:15] Speaker C: All right.
[00:47:15] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:47:15] Speaker C: All right.
[00:47:16] Speaker B: And it's an audible. Audible. And in hard copy. And soft copy.
[00:47:19] Speaker C: Oh, wow. Okay. I love audible.
[00:47:21] Speaker B: That's.
[00:47:21] Speaker C: That's amazing. My friend, it has been a sincere pleasure to be able to interview you and tell your story. You are. I'm. I am one of your biggest fans.
[00:47:29] Speaker B: Likewise.
[00:47:30] Speaker C: And I think that there's just so much wisdom that you have that the world needs to hear. So thank you for this opportunity.
[00:47:36] Speaker B: Well, thank you so much. Appreciate it.
