Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Welcome to On Purpose with Paul. I am Paul Peters, your amazing host, entrepreneur, business owner, founder of the nonprofit and best selling author. I'm here today to talk to you about how to find your purpose.
My name is Paul Peters. I'm a proud father of the three kids. I always want to put that as a priority for me. I have a company called Covenant Case Management Services in North Carolina where I primarily work with folks with intellectual disability, mental health, substance abuse. We are looking to expand outside of North Carolina this year. Also have a nonprofit based in North Carolina called the Nehemiah Project. We basically work with individuals that are struggling with addiction, homelessness, seniors, veterans, homeless and at risk kids, domestic violence victims, and those with mental health, intellectual disabilities. I want to take my message about what I have discovered helping people find their purpose and I want to take it worldwide because I believe if people find their purpose, they're going to find their joy, they're going to find the reason for their existence and how they connect to this world.
Foreign yes, I'm Paul Peters and you are on On Purpose with Paul. I'm here to talk with my dear friend Paula Bolen and I want to tell you a little bit about Paula. Not only is she an award winning motivational speaker, she's an author, she is a business owner and a master business mindset coach. She is known as the million dollar maker, but I just call her Paula B.
So Paula, thank you for coming today to the show.
[00:01:31] Speaker B: Thank you for having me.
[00:01:32] Speaker A: The show is all about how to discover your purpose. And so I want to ask you some questions. And not a lot of people, when we think about purpose, what that means to them. So what does purpose, finding your purpose or discovering your purpose mean to you?
[00:01:46] Speaker B: Wow, that's been a journey for me for sure.
I have come to believe that all of us made an agreement with God before we were born to do a specific.
It was a mission, kind of a mission that we're on. And then the joke of it all is as we were born, we forgot that, we forgot the mission. And so we feel this calling, this pull, this something that is you're looking for that is actually that purpose that's calling your soul, right?
And then, you know, somehow if you continue, not everybody does it, but you know, a percentage of people that follow the call find that mission. And when you find that mission, that God given mission, it just all clicks together, right? It's like I've seen your book where there's pieces of the puzzle, right? It all fits together.
[00:02:37] Speaker A: I love that.
[00:02:37] Speaker B: And, and so then it becomes easier. Right. But for me it was quite a journey to get on purpose and on mission. So you're. For me, the definition of purpose is your God given calling and your mission.
[00:02:52] Speaker A: I love that. I love that. So tell me and take us through a little bit. And I actually want to start, first of all, let you guys know, I've known Paula for over 20 years.
We're both somewhere around 30.
And so we actually met. She was a consultant, I was working for a company in North Carolina and we got reintroduced probably about six years ago. Six years, seven years ago.
Basically ran into her, we were having coffee together and was asking what she was doing and we kind of got together and I said she was saying basically she was doing some mentoring, mastermind coaching. I thought, you know, I really think I'd like to try that. And so we started meeting on a weekly basis and she began to challenge me and she said, what is it you really want? What are your dreams? And I've always been a dreamer. I've just never really in a lot of ways acted on those dreams.
I just had all these dreams. I was a visionary and wanted to do all these things and, and she really challenged me to go to the next level. And we were talking about me maybe writing a book and writing a book on how to discover your purpose because I had taught a course on that and lo and behold, I went ahead and I camped out at a, at a beach house for the summer and I wrote my book and it's now been out for about three, four years. She also challenged me because I love to travel, but I wasn't doing that and I had limited time with my kid. And she said, well, go do it. And so I did. Me and my kids went to Rome and we went to Greece. And so she was one of the first mastermind coaches that really challenged me to go to the next level.
And here I am. Because of her efforts, because of her encouragement, because of her support, I'm now a best selling author. I have my own TV show. And so sky's the limit. And so I'm just so excited to have her be my first guest and so walk us through some of the journey. Because I have a belief that in order to find your purpose, God is not going to make it easy for you because it's like if you seek me, you will find me, he says. And it's like he wants to see us put forth the effort because what we will find is going to be gold and silver and not in regards to the Real gold and silver. But the nuggets, the very thing he puts within us, that little secret of what we're called to do. And that is pretty powerful because I liken it to dynamite. It's like once we discover what that is, it is our calling, it is our destiny, and we have to follow that. And so for me, it's like we make these choices in life and we struggle. And it's in the struggle that we begin to, to find the answers. So kind of walk us through some of, some of your journey.
[00:05:33] Speaker B: My journey? Yeah.
So just kind of brief, briefly. I grew up a kid with not many resources and not in the best home situation.
And so growing up was a situation of not feeling secure, not feeling like I trusted myself and those kind of things.
And I heard my whole life that get your education, get your education. If you get your education, everything will be okay. So that was my whole view. View of the world is let me get my education. Went on to college, had a couple of master's degrees after that, and found myself with a whole lot of education.
But I was, I found myself in my 40s, what I call broken. Broken. I was more than $500,000 in debt.
I was in a really bad marriage.
Not that either one of us are bad people. We just didn't fit together well.
I couldn't even fit feed my young son.
I was. And, and, and I was kind of like, I. I don't want to say pretending, but I had three jobs I was working, who were very nice, high paid, like, you know, in the community, looking good jobs. But here I was broke and broken. And there wasn't a day in my life where I didn't call myself a loser or whatever. So how are you gonna like build to your potential in that kind of a mindset that. I went to the refrigerator and there was literally one piece of bacon in our refrigerator. And I decided I would eat like just an inch of it so my son could eat. I decided that at that time that from the perspective I was living in, that I would go out and plan my suicide. And I was going to, I went on a walk to do that. And the intention was is that I would do this so it didn't harm my son, so it didn't harm, you know, his psyche and all that stuff. Well, looking back on it now, we all know that that would never work, right? Well, while I was out walking, I literally encountered a miracle.
And I was miserable, devastated. And I want to say this about miracles. And we expect like lightning bolts and all Those kind of things. Well, for me, miracles come in small packages, and we just need to be aware of it, right? All the opportunities and all that. I encountered a flower during my walk, and I was miserable. I, like, you know, how do I die? I want to die. And a voice said to me, not like a verbal voice, but in my heart when I encountered the flower. And the flower was dying and alive at the same time. So it had brown leaves. It had. But it was, like, very vivid. It was a rose, and it was a very vivid color. And this voice said to me, that's you.
You can be alive or you can be dead. What are you going to do?
And I stopped. It was like the control, alt, delete, right?
And I stopped for a moment and I said, okay, I want to be alive.
And I. But I. Then I laugh about this now. I said, okay, God, I'm gonna be alive, but I'm giving it 90 days.
I was like, okay, God, give me 90 days, right? And I was broke. I was broken, Everything like that. And I walked away. Like, walked home to. Not away from that flower, but walked home on my phone, finding anything and anyone, because I had absolutely no idea what happiness meant. None.
And I started just Googling, you know, like, YouTubing and everything like that, listening to that. And I. There's a few mentors that I found in that process, I have to say. Bob Proctor saved my life. And.
And so from that day forward, I became, like, really obsessed with the idea of abundance and the idea of, you know, what am I supposed to be doing with my life and all of that, and just really focused on being joyful. And I know that's a big focus of yours, too, and what does that mean? And within literally months, I had more money than I ever had in my life, and I was still working three jobs. And actually, I figured out that I was really tired and overwhelmed, and I decided to quit one of those jobs. And I'll just tell you honestly that my family had a drama moment. It's like, you can't even feed your son, you're going to quit a job.
I did. I trusted my God, trusted God, and I had more and more and more money.
And that continued on. I went on, left the marriage, went on a journey as a single mom.
And now, you know, everything has changed in terms of financially, spiritually, emotionally, physically. But what happened was that moment for me where I listened, right? I listened in my heart. And ever since then, I've been on a journey to find my abundance, my joy, and to find it In a spiritual way. Not just so much. It's all about money or whatever.
But ever since then, it's been my calling. And now I have the pleasure of working with entrepreneurs to help them really honestly look at what does abundance mean to them? Like you, like what we did. And then not only that, but to take them into what is the identity of that person.
Because we can seek something from where we are, but when we really do it, when we really live it, you know, whether doesn't matter what the circumstances are. Right. We can go to it or we can live from it. And so that's what you did. I mean, you. You started visioning, which you had done for years, but then we worked together and it became your identity. Right. And that has changed everything. And that is what I learned. My purpose is, is to help people understand that there is abundance. There is God's abundance all the time. It's just what are we doing to allow it and to materialize it. And the identity piece does it.
[00:11:43] Speaker A: Yeah. That's amazing.
We will be right back after these messages.
A couple things that stood out from what you told me is because I have gone through very similar situations where I had gotten hopeless and I had hit moment of despair and I had contemplated suicide and I had a similar miracle. Not so much with the power, but I was basically heard a voice and basically said, don't do this. I've got plans for you. And I think about, in Jeremiah 29:11, it says, God says, I have plans for you, for your future, you know, that you would prosper. And we understand your life. From what I have seen, what I've heard is God had planned for you.
[00:12:41] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:12:42] Speaker A: And he got your attention.
[00:12:43] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:12:44] Speaker A: And so what was the link? Because you're working, working. It's almost like the, the animal dribble, whatever.
[00:12:51] Speaker B: Right, right, right, right.
[00:12:52] Speaker A: It's like. And you just kept spinning and it's like. And it wasn't getting any better.
[00:12:56] Speaker B: Right.
[00:12:57] Speaker A: And so what was the turning point when you basically chose I'm choosing life?
How did you connect the desire for abundance? I want you to explain what that means to you. And then the connection with purpose because you said you had some mentors in there. So kind of piece that together because you went from a moment of despair, contemplated suicide, and God gave you a glimmer of hope, and then you took that hope and walked in faith in the direction. And here you are now, just absolutely amazing what you're doing and the impact you're having on people, us live.
[00:13:31] Speaker B: So thank you.
[00:13:32] Speaker A: I know I asked a bunch of questions, but kind of share a little bit.
[00:13:34] Speaker B: Yeah, it's great questions.
[00:13:35] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:13:36] Speaker B: I might need a minute.
[00:13:37] Speaker A: Yes. I think it's important that people realize that we've all gone through struggles.
[00:13:42] Speaker B: Absolutely. Oh, my gosh. Absolutely.
[00:13:44] Speaker A: And it's in those struggles that we get to the end of ourselves.
[00:13:50] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:13:51] Speaker A: Because we've tried this. We've tried that, and that's when a lot of people will begin to ask those deeper questions of a spiritual.
[00:13:58] Speaker B: Absolutely.
[00:13:59] Speaker A: And that's what Paula did, and that's what I did. And we're sharing this very important information because many of you are going through that right now, and we want to give you a sense of hope that there is opportunity, and God wants to help you understand what your calling and your destiny is. Because in that calling, in that destiny is the very thing that Paula was seeking for.
I was seeking for. And that's the joy, that's the peace. And so kind of go take us from that moment where you. You chose life.
[00:14:33] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:14:34] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:14:35] Speaker B: Well, you know, I think there was always something, like, in me, like, it felt like something was off. Right. Like, there was always something that felt like a void, and I couldn't put my finger on it. And so I was looking at my external circumstances of I'm broke, I don't have the food to feed my son, and all of that stuff. And I thought that was what the problem was. Right. And that's why I was working three jobs, trying to have the money, all of that stuff. And I think that's a very common experience that we get so involved in what's happening externally that we don't, you know, put together the internal. I mean, everything is that in our life is a reflection of who we are inside side. Right.
So during that walk, I think I was so broken that it was just an opening for God to really be present for the spiritual present, for that void that I had been trying to fix, trying to find, trying externally. I just, like, laid that down for a moment or two. Thank God that I did. Right.
And during that time, it opened up a connection that was always there. It was always there. It was just that I was covering it up, feeling the external, looking externally. Why am I not more of a success? Why don't I have more money? I have all these, you know, master's degrees and blah, blah, blah. I look this way to the world, and I. If I. If I really, like, literally go honest about this, I had to be broken down to that because I was very connected to. Look, I got this education, look at me, you know, and. And that's gonna. That's gonna solve everything. The more money I get is gonna solve everything. And so I had to have that breakdown so that I could really be present with who I really am in and who. God's presence in that moment. Right. And so it's hard to describe that. Like, you know, so. But that I think you understand. You walk that journey, and anybody who's on here right now who's like, living their mission or like looking for their mission understands that void, that calling that, you know, and many times what we're doing in that void is we're really desperately trying to fill it. And so we become. Instead of creators, we become consumers. And we. We consume YouTube, we consume TikTok. We consume. Right. And really, God is a creator and has called us to be creators. The hands and the feet, we have to do something. Right. And so when we switch that role from consumers, pursue me, give it to me, let me have it. To who am I?
Who are you? God? And get in that relationship. That's when abundance comes. That's when the, you know, heaven's open, if you want to say it that way. And really, it happens. Not just spiritually, but it does happen financially, emotionally. I mean, it's. It's all of it. Right.
So it. That's a long version of an answer. I'm kind of thinking out loud while I speak. Speak to you. But it was a enough of a breakdown where I let go of those external forces, those external seeking, the consumer seeking. And I was long enough open to the spirit, my own spirit and how it relates to my calling.
[00:18:05] Speaker A: Interesting. Enough of a story. When you were talking, it's actually story out of the Bible of Martha and Mary and Jesus was present. And it was interesting because Martha was the busy one.
[00:18:17] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:18:18] Speaker A: Martha was doing this and doing that.
[00:18:20] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:18:20] Speaker A: And Mary was the one that just sat at Jesus feet. And it almost appears that you were busy.
[00:18:27] Speaker B: Oh, yes.
[00:18:28] Speaker A: Trying to perform.
And, you know, God is standing there and just saying, okay, when are you gonna sit at my feet so I can tell you where.
And I think what happened to you and what happened to me and many of us is we. God is trying to get us to a point that we are honest and real with him. Absolutely.
[00:18:48] Speaker B: And ourselves.
[00:18:49] Speaker A: And ourselves. And we too often try to impress so many people. I've jokingly told you I'm a reformed people pleaser. You know, because of my upbringing, I just wanted people to like me, and I wanted to be able to be recognized That I accomplished something or that I could be loved. And we get so busy. God is already telling us you already are love.
[00:19:10] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:19:11] Speaker A: And I have so much to reveal about you that I need you to believe, because it's in the belief.
[00:19:18] Speaker B: Absolutely.
[00:19:18] Speaker A: Is the revelation of what he's going to reveal in our calling. And so as that kind of became where you kind of got real with God and he just basically.
So kind of walk us through what happened and then. And then the time frame, because for me, my journey was long because I was stubborn and I wasn't ready, even though I was broken, you know, so kind of walk us through the journey. When you were in your mid-40s and then, I mean, I've seen you in the last 20 years. You've always been amazingly successful in my eyes. But it's like for you, what was the. What was that. Was the turning point when that happened?
[00:19:57] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:19:57] Speaker A: But you have continued to progress, continue to grow, continue to help so many people. So kind of share that, that continued journey.
[00:20:06] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. Well, I want everyone to know and you to disclose that it's not been a straight line. It's been like, you know this, right? So.
So initially there was just such a difference from being so depressed and not even understanding what happiness is. And then hearing this and hearing this, God was like putting these little beautiful nuggets that already exist. I finally, like, you know, allowed. Right. I was in the receiving mode, as they would say. And so it was so amazing at first, like, to stay. I. I tell almost everyone that I coach.
A primary method for connecting to yourself, to your real self, and to your abundance is to get into a beautiful state. And a beautiful state. It doesn't matter what's happening with your bank account. It doesn't. I mean, you know, we want to get connected to that and be like, well, you don't understand. I'm, you know, blah, blah, blah. Honey, I was $500,000 in debt. I couldn't pay. I couldn't even pay attention.
So. And I wasn't paying attention. So it.
When you get into that beautiful state, you feel like it's. It's all to my good.
It's all.
God is here. You feel the connection and you feel peaceful and you feel joyful. Right? And so at first it was easy for me to get there because I had never felt that before. And the first little inkling of it, I was like, oh, my gosh, I love this. Let me find this again. Right? And I've realized with every single client from CEOs, that I'm helping to make multi millions of dollars to somebody is not, you know, whatever the idea is, starting their business or whatever they're doing. I work with a lot of entrepreneurs and is that God, the universe, whatever you want to call it, gives you the opportunity to have that abundance, to feel that abundance. Thinking you could do it again. Here, here's the surprise, do it again. Here's the surprise, do it again. Not everybody grabs onto it, right? But when you grab onto that feeling, that beautiful state, and then you receive a surprise because of it. There's always universal surprises, right? The miracles or whatever you want to call it. And the next surpr and the next good feeling, you want to do it again. And so God gives you that gift. That's abundance. And so I got in that and I, as much as I could, I remember just walking my neighborhood, walking my neighborhood. I would go down and then I go out for a walk, I go look for that flower, right? And I would, I would just get back into a beautiful state. Back into a beautiful state. And from that perspective, I. Things just started happening, like just beautiful, amazing things in the physical, you know, 3D world of what was happening with my bank account as well as my heart, right.
And, and what happened is in four months time, I, like I said, had more money than I really, I was like, I got money in the bank, like I got food in the fridge, right?
So. And I want to say that I don't think you have to get to where I was to be able to, you know, receive and have abundance. And that's why I'm doing my mission, because I don't want people to have to do that to go there. Yeah, right. So it's not a call for people, you know, but you can be a CEO of a large corporation and I really coach a lot of people that are in this situation that have worked. We're busy, and then it's like something's missing. I'm successful as everybody sees. I have the money, but there's something missing, right? And that can be an opportunity too for, to, you know, to a really great purpose. Right.
[00:23:51] Speaker A: We will be right back after these messages.
[00:24:02] Speaker B: Anyway, so. So I think I stayed in this beautiful state as I review it and now I stay, you know, I go back there as much as I can. I'm usually living in it, but I'm not perfect. I'd still.
And.
And then it's. Things started to, you know, be different because I had a different perspective at a different heart. I had a different, you know, movement I became a different person, a different identity, right? It wasn't this broke, broken woman, right? I was now becoming, becoming. And. And I don't think. I don't think we ever arrive. Our journey is forever with God, right? But I am always seeking to become right? What is the next thing? How do I expand, how. And you are too. I see it all the time. But that's my identity, right? And I didn't do it on purpose. I didn't know I was doing this. It just started to happen. And so after, after a few months, I was just feeling good and things were happening well. And I was like, you know what? I've always been good at helping people start businesses. And that was kind of what I did. And strategy and all that let me become a coach, Coach. And so I found a coach. I didn't really have the money. I borrowed the money from my sister. And so then those decisions started to happen, right? And then the people that I was coaching were having so much success.
And part of it was strategy, like business strategy, which I'm really good at. You know, I never.
I use business strategy as well as the spiritual and the abundance component. And that really fits great. That's the puzzle, right? But for a long time I sat in strategy only, and I built a. You know, I was near a half million dollar business coaching business, but again, got into the. Something's missing. And I actually went to a place that you and I go. I went to Guatemala and I was ready to quit. I was like, what else do I need to be doing? I'm gonna burn this down. And it became again, the. You and I probably too, have some, some spiritual connection that we seek on purpose, right? And the voice, the intuitive voice said to me, don't burn it down. Add me in.
Add me.
And I wasn't. I mean, I would have been able to talk to you about it, but I wasn't like. Like talking about God with people, wasn't talking about their spirituality, their identity in their spiritual sense. And when I added that in, everything changed, everything changed. And I think you've experienced that as well.
[00:26:29] Speaker A: I have, yeah. It's interesting and I appreciate you. So appreciate what you shared. Not everybody has to go through the same journey that we did in regards to, you know, contemplating at the end of our life. But there's the missing element that Paula shared is. And for me, it's the spiritual element. There's something within us that I believe that God puts within us. And it's like a seed.
And he at the time that it is ready to come out. God's going to give us that message. And it's interesting because you said also about identity, and I remember something that you said when you were going through that time, I think. Did you say that? You said, I'm a loser?
[00:27:13] Speaker B: I used to say it every day.
[00:27:14] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:27:14] Speaker B: There wasn't a day that went by. And every once in a while that comes up in my now, right? It's like, what? Where did that go? What exactly?
[00:27:22] Speaker A: And the reason that is so important, because the very things that we say to ourselves, we reinforce a belief system or an identity that we begin to live out. And there's a verse that comes to mind is, as a man thinketh in his heart, so will he be, or so shall he be. And it's like we have. The way that we're created is we think and the thinking creates emotions.
And often when we think negatively, like, I'm a loser, I can't amount to anything. I'm not loved. We begin to feel those negative emotions, which is. If anybody's ever heard of the term law of attraction, it works both ways. And it's interesting, when you began to change your thinking and started to focus more on things that were what would be positive, higher energy, what happened? You saw.
[00:28:11] Speaker B: Oh, yes, right in front of me. It happens all the time, right? I mean, you know, master manifesters, right? I mean, my. One of my friends recently was on the beach with me, and she looked at me and she goes, paula, will you teach me? And I was like, well, you know, I love to teach. I'll teach you anything. What do you want to know? And she said, I want to be a manifesting mofo, like you love that. And so I had to think for a minute and I, you know, I actually came up with a program teaching people how to. How to jump in and use the same thing about beliefs. And our thoughts become behaviors which become habits, right? And so when you on purpose go to the end of what you want, right? And our end keeps changing, but the end of what you want, like right now, I just moved to my beach house that I've had. I thought I was going to lose for years and years and years. And one of the things I used to do in that house is I would stand in the house because I was so sad that I had this, that I had. My mother had worked out a deal with me that I could have this house as she retired. And I was so sad that I was going to lose it. It was like, I love the beach. I love Being here. This is my tree house, right? And I would stand there and because I didn't want to feel sad about it, the only thing I knew what to do is to say, if I could, what would I do with this house? And I would imagine, like, what I do with the kitchen, what I would do, blah, blah. And I found myself in that house just a couple of years ago. The kitchen's exactly what I imagined.
The, you know, the. The landscaping becoming what I imagined. And it's so interesting how what you put in your mind, it is. It is actually, you know, God is there waiting to bless you with that. And so what you're putting in your mind is what is being created right where the coconut creators. And it's not only just like, you know, in an ethereal way, it's in a physical way. The hands and feet, our behaviors, our thoughts, they become habits. And. And the beautiful thing about it is, is every decision, every belief that we have, it doesn't have to be like uncovered in an ashram, in therapy, in years and years. We choose our beliefs every single second, every single second.
[00:30:26] Speaker A: Second.
[00:30:27] Speaker B: Now, I didn't know this when I was first on my journey around the block, but, you know, with the flower. But I. I know it now. But that is something that happened with me is I chose a new belief. You know, instead of death, I choose life. Right? And you can do that every moment. You don't have to wait to clear it out or figure it out or all that stuff or get. Get the money first. That's the worst decision.
Wait, waiting.
[00:30:52] Speaker A: And I love what you said also about living in a beautiful state. And it's interesting, this is kind of an epiphany for me. I've had the last year is so many of us, we allow our circumstances to dictate how we're going to feel rather than deciding how we're going to feel.
And whatever circumstances come, you know, they're going to be. Those are things that most of the times are outside of our control.
But if we choose to live in that beautiful state, and that really is choosing to be joyful, to live in peace, to be kind, compassionate, loving, when we choose to live in that beautiful state, regardless of the circumstance, regardless of the storm. And for me, there's a perfect picture of the disciples were in the boat and the storm is raging and Jesus is sleeping peacefully.
[00:31:39] Speaker B: And I'm thinking that's cool.
[00:31:42] Speaker A: I would kind of like to have that state. And that is possible. And like Paula said, it's not something that happens overnight. It is something that we train ourselves because I'm one of those individuals that believes that 90 to 95% of our choices we make are unconscious, which means they're in some kind of file system in our brain of habits we've done. But in order to change, to transform our lives, we've got to bring them up to the conscious level and we've got to take control of those faces. It. Exactly. And so help us understand a little bit more. Because once you understood and got to hold that beautiful state, and I liken it to what I would call a broken pipe, there's no alignment, so there's.
[00:32:23] Speaker B: No light new pipes.
[00:32:24] Speaker A: Correct. And so when you got into that beautiful state, it almost appears that you were in alignment with God's creation of what he created you to be.
[00:32:32] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:32:32] Speaker A: And then the very thing you were desiring, the abundance flowed.
[00:32:37] Speaker B: Yes. And that's how it works.
[00:32:38] Speaker A: Right?
[00:32:39] Speaker B: Right, exactly. So that's kind of a formula for how this works, right? Is this is how I work with people. And by the way, I've had mentors in my life to help me along. You've had mentors in your life to help you along.
And if you're feeling the void, if somebody's like, you know, tuning in right now, highly likely fill in the void and you're figuring out, like, am I a consumer or am I a creator and, you know, all that, or I want to be in this beautiful state. What does mean find a mentor, you know, check out somebody that can help you so, you know, spend the next 20 years, you know, in a spin. Right. Because what's going on? And I'm going to answer your question, but what's going on in our world is that we receive so many messages every single day from our society and all of that that are circumstantial, that we like only, like a percentage of people really get to their mission, get, you know, get to this in a fulfilling way. And having a mentor can really, really help. Right.
So what's back? What was the question you remember? I can't remember the question exactly, but it was moving from the beautiful state and how that brought in abundance. So the formula is the beautiful state. Right. So that for me, this is mine. And everybody does have their own, you know, journey. But generally I think you can agree this is the formula. So realize that there's a void, right. And there's something off and that you're looking for something that is your calling. That is your calling for you to remember the mission you agreed to before you were born. And then because the game of life, it's a game. It's kind of funny that you forgot it as you were born. Right. And so you spend the rest of your life trying to connect with God and get this right. And you and God are like, you know, your soul is like, let's do this right. And so then you feel that offness, you feel that void, you recognize it. And then you go to. Instead of looking at what's wrong and what's broken, which I think is our number one problem in our culture, what am I doing wrong? I don't trust myself. Blah, blah, blah. If I could just get this right, it would be better. That is actually taking you down. That's chipwreck. Right. So if you could instead say, I'm going to choose to know that. That I don't even know if I totally believe this. But at least I see other people in abundance. I see other people doing okay. That's what I did. And then I don't know if I can get this belief. I don't know what all that is, but I'm gonna know that other people got it. Let me see. So get yourself into that. Get into a beautiful state. And then you can start from that beautiful state, imagining what it is you really want. You're definition of success. What is your clarity of success?
[00:35:25] Speaker A: We will be right back after these messages.
And one of the powerful things that's worked for me and Paula, I'm fairly certain would agree, is you've got to change your identity. Because when you look at where you're at, and a lot of times it's our feelings, we just don't feel happy. There's something missing. The disconnect. And so when we recognize. I want to change that, you get to a point where you just. You're through. You say, I'm done, I'm done. I don't want to feel the same way. I don't want to be in debt, whatever it is.
[00:36:00] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:36:01] Speaker A: And so you get to that point and then you resolve. You make a resolve, a resolution, an intention that you're a decision and you act on that decision. You don't have all the answers and just. Same thing with such a good point. Yeah. With, you know, discovering your purpose. It's not like God's gonna give you everything you need.
[00:36:19] Speaker B: Write it across the sky.
[00:36:20] Speaker A: Yeah. You know, trust in the Lord with all thine heart. Lean on the into under thine own understanding. All thy ways Acknowledge me and I will direct your steps. It's like there's that element of faith and belief. And when we recognize that I don't have all the answers, but I'm going in this direction because one, I just feel like this is where I'm supposed to go. And we go. And it's interesting as you did that you changed your state. Things began to show up, people began to show up.
[00:36:45] Speaker B: You showed up.
[00:36:46] Speaker A: Yeah. And that's how it works. And so when we begin to change and reflect on the things that we want and we begin, I call it living in the future, it's almost like you recognize this is what I want.
Let's say your goal is money. I want to be. Have a million dollars in the bank. Well, you have to begin to live as if that's happening now.
[00:37:07] Speaker B: Right.
[00:37:08] Speaker A: And because what you're doing, the way that God's created our mind, is the subconscious will connect to what you believe.
Because literally what we do every day is based on our subconscious belief systems. Unfortunately, those are screwed up many times.
[00:37:24] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:37:24] Speaker A: And we've got to retrain, reprogram our brain to believe that God wants to bless us and he wants to keep. To give us. He said he desires to prosper because. And I'm not necessarily talking about the toys. Those are nice. It's really the other element. I want to kind of dig deeper into this piece because for me, you can get out of debt, you can get all the toys, but you can still have that missing element.
[00:37:50] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. I mean, you see people that are very successful with that and they're. I mean, they commit suicide, you see. You know, you see people that are very, very successful that, you know, unfortunately, you know, and end their journey, you know, because that void is still calling them and they don't know how to fill it up. They've been filling it up, being busy and getting stopped.
[00:38:10] Speaker A: Correct. And so take us to the next. Next part of your life that this really stuck out for me is more where you kind of got more in tune to the spiritual element.
[00:38:20] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:38:21] Speaker A: Because it sounds like you got some of the debts paid off, you got a lot of money in the bank, but still something was missing.
[00:38:27] Speaker B: Oh, yeah.
[00:38:27] Speaker A: So if you could kind of help the people who are watching.
[00:38:30] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:38:30] Speaker A: Because there may be people who are.
Got a great job, got a great family, but there's something missing. And it's like, where do I. Where do I find that missing element? So kind of share your story.
[00:38:42] Speaker B: You share yours first.
Oh, let's see. And I'm not. Not because I don't want to share it. I'm just Kind of thinking through the.
So let's see.
It is I. It is that beautiful state I think that leads it, right. So instead of looking at what's wrong and not trusting myself, I think that sometimes that I have sort of floundered and felt the worst and got into the rut again and gone even backwards, you know, is when I started trusting everybody else has the answer, looking to the outside world going, you know, whatever, not trusting myself.
And when I come at this from who am I really? Yeah, who am I really?
And, and who am I really with God, like really getting honest about that. Who, who am I really? I'm not. And, and, and when I got into that place instead of like, oh, I want to be the millionaire and this guru says, do the five things and you'll be a millionaire. He says it works this way and trying all of his way and it wasn't working for me. Like you said this before we got started that your purpose is your own journey. How do you find your own journey? Right. And others people's journey may not be yours many times. And so we get hooked on to they did it that way. So let me do what they're doing. And some of what they're doing can work in other parts the of but takes us away from trusting ourselves. So as I think about that the answer to how it came from sort of the stuff and paying it off and being like, you know, in the world realm.
You know, there was this piece where I stayed in the beautiful state and that beautiful state was calling me to a different, different view.
And from that view it became. I just realized that all these mistakes when I go backwards, when I, you know, when things blow up or I get burnout or whatever it is because I can get really much into that doing and doing and doing again.
And when that goes wrong, I am not trusting myself. I'm trying to find the answer somewhere else. And the more that I can like look at who am I really, who do I want to be and where am I like, you know, where. What am I doing here? It's people pleasing. It's looking to other people for all the answers, not trusting myself.
And when that comes into play for me, it's like the next level, right? So I had to get able to love myself. I think, you know, like in that first journey is to love myself and look for sources of love. Look where there is love, look for God, for love, all of that stuff and trust that God was loving because I didn't trust that so much. And then I had to hang now, that time I had to hang on to other people who had that. And then once I got to that place and I saw the good, the new people that were showing up, the new opportunities that are showing up, I was hanging out with different people. I was talking to myself differently self, love wise. Right then I started thinking, who am I?
And. And I started seeing some things that weren't adding up for me, that were mistakes and going backwards. And I was like, what is sort of going on here? And a lot of it was not trusting myself and not trusting that, you know, that, that it's all for my good.
This is a new one for me. It's all for my good.
This is in the last year. It's all to my good.
And anything that happens, really, sometimes I get reactive for a little while and then after a while I'm like, okay, God, it's all to my good. I know I'm on this journey, but being able to really take that next level of it's me, this is not him or her or the fault or brokenness of the world. It's what. What's inside of me. And once I got connected to, you know, who am I and how am I trusting myself? Who am I in the relationship with this spiritual journey? What's my mission? I really spent a lot of time on this idea of what, what is my mission?
And at first for the coaching world, it was like, what's my message? You know, what's my. What's my marketing messaging and that strategy stuff? But then it got to what is on going my mission. And if you would spend time with that, you know, I'm talking to, you know, everybody's listening. Not you, because you do it. But if you spend time like just thinking, what is it that I lose time when I do that? I absolutely love that I help people. It's like my magic, right? It's my mojo. What is it when that's going on? Because there's your mission. That's the admission you agreed to. And then it can. Once you get connected to that and you start to trust yourself. And like you said, it's not like the blueprints in front of you. The blueprint is every day acting from your highest level of excitement. What is really cool and exciting for me, it's great to receive a $500,000 check. It is. It's great to have a client that, a corporate client that signs me up for, you know, come help my whole company and all that stuff. It's great to go to Guatemala and hit like we're doing and helping people come out of poverty. But what is really great is when I'm with somebody and they are getting it at how abundant their life is and that God is part of this story and they're oh, like we're like some ways like shy to talk about it. Like we, we like we know it, but we don't want to talk about God. We don't want to talk about when they open up to let's go there, let's talk spirituality, let's talk that and let's talk about how that can be part of my business, how it really is when I'm in that mode. It doesn't matter about the $500,000 check. It's like that's a minute. But this is the juice, right? So that's, it's that piece of trusting yourself, that piece of on purpose purpose trying to find what is it, what is it that feels beyond.
[00:45:01] Speaker A: I want to add real quick and then I want to give you an opportunity to let people know how they can get done.
It's the connection with your purpose and the abundance. And if your desire is to have abundance, wealth for a purpose to serve other people, then I believe that's something God's going to bless.
[00:45:20] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:45:20] Speaker A: And it's interesting. Her passion was working of animals, but she never saw that as a vocational opportunity for her. But once she did, she took that step. She stepped out of her fear and moved forward.
Her passion and her purpose really manifested the creativity and the flow of the abundance that came, that is three times her salary before. And that's how it works. Because if you're doing something you love, they say you would do it for free. Not that you would, but you could because everything is going to flow from that. And it's just amazing when you think about uniting your purpose with your calling and your vocation. Too many people have a job because it's comfortable, because they got to pay their bills and then they do their passion on the weekends. Well, I'm one of those individuals that I am doing what I love and I'm being blessed for because of that amazing interview. You're just such an amazing person. I've learned so much more. Share with our audience how they can get in touch with you if they want to get some coaching or information on you.
[00:46:22] Speaker B: That's so nice of you too. Sure.
So you can find me on my Facebook, on Instagram, all the, all the places. Paula Boland. And my last name is spelled B O H L A L A n D.
And you can find me on, you know, Facebook, my feed, my just my personal feed. You can find all kinds of stuff about me.
You can send me an email and just give you my email address. I'm not, you know, my professional email is Paula Boland. It's really easy.
Coachingmail.com and the name of my company is Paula B. Coaching.
[00:46:58] Speaker A: I love that.
[00:46:58] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:46:59] Speaker A: Well, thank you, everyone. Have a great evening.
